So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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