Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize