I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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