how can u be prego again
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
