bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I yelled at your uterus for you.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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