She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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