remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
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Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
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If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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