Just took my morning after pill in the library
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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