So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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