ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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