Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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