I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Hippo gnu deer
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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