I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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