im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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