the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
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somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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