Define "chronic" masturbator.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
