I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
