Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
