I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
we're so committed to being not committed
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
