Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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