she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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