Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
