Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
