ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
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you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
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I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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