What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Randomize
