upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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