omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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