Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
