and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
how can u be prego again
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Randomize
