that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
