a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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