The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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