normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
