No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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