Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(804): View more from Virginia

please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.

Fav 5 889 3217
share tweet
(574): View more from Indiana

So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.

(574): View more from Indiana

Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.

Fav 10 977 4004
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"

Fav 40 1037 5192
share tweet
(703): View more from Virginia

I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.

Fav 29 4197 1716
share tweet
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
Read it at the TFLN blog
(315): View more from New York

well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her

Fav 12 1454 4460
share tweet
(786): View more from Florida

She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick

(305): View more from Florida

I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.

Fav 18 4232 1906
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(254): View more from Texas

His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!

Fav 15 5218 2118
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(586): View more from Michigan

I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you

Fav 4 1488 615
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(785): View more from Kansas

There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.

Fav 1 454 356
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT