What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.