you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize