My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
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they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
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Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.