We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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