Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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