you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
