With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize