p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
