i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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