Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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