It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm having to shit out rocks
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
