my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
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I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
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I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
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