I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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