scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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