Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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