My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I would fuck him just for his dog
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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