we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize