yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
