Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
