The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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