week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
