I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
