He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
