I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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