Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
