I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i already hear my dad disowning me
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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