a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize