OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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